What is wrong with me?????

So last night I was watching the Discovery Health Channel's National Body Challenge. This after starting WW's this week & keep track of my points. Which I have blown every day. BUT I never eat like the people on these shows. I think about it all the time. How long since I have had pizza, how I have had French Toast like 4 times since last year (when I lost 33#s from Jan-Jun & have now gained everyone of them back). My favorite breakfast used to be a McDonald's Bacon, Egg, Cheese bagel w/no cheese. I have had about 6 of them in the past year.

Yet the people on these shows go to McDonald's or other fast food several times a day & they eat 4 or 5 hamburgers. I can't even get a medium fry down in one sitting. Why am I a big fat slob and eating 1/3 of what they eat.

They ONLY way I can loose weight is to cut out carbs and eat fats (you know, Atkins). But I can't stick to it - I have in the past, but then I gain it all back and then some which is why I am where I am today.

So now I am blaming Zone Bars - I am going to cut that crap out & start eating food. Regular meals. Forget counting points. I do well when I just write down what I eat. I tried doing that on my phone calendar & quit, I guess I will be more diligent or get another notebook. Today I am going shopping & instead of spending lots of money on bars that do nothing for me I will buy some actual food. Low carbs, but not no carbs. Maybe I will look at the South Beach diet again. I do really well on Atkins but never really got into the So. Beach.

I know a lot of us have these problems. And there are fat people all the time who say "I don't eat a lot". You know what - I really don't & I have it written down to prove it. I challenge anyone to come watch me eat & tell me I eat too much. I think I have just screwed myself up so much that everything goes to fat.

I went to a nutritionist once & quit - maybe I should go back. No more pills. $40-75 a week is what I paid for 6 months last year for pills, and now I am RIGHT back where I was when I first went in a year ago today. How sick is that. But why do you need a nutritionist when there are so many things on the web to help you. If their accountability is like that of the diet doctors (where you get nothing but your BP taken, weighed & pills - that support they tell you about is non-existent).

Sorry to go off on a tare today but I am so frustrated. To see these people just scarfing down the foods I would LOVE to eat and haven't had in forever (you know deserts, candy, etc) & they are eating them EVERYDAY & weigh the same as you. What is up with that. But we see, even Oprah can't do it and she has everything at her fingertips.

Happy New Year - let's hope next year none of us weigh 20#s more (or even 2#s). Peace