It has been over a year since I last wrote in this blog, I was fairly happy then, compared to the couple entries before that. However, now I am much much happier and kind of surprised at the way my life has changed just since last October when I was mooning over my heart throb. Now I barely think of him (barely) but I have a new love, someone I was in love with before but pushed aside. Jesus!
Yes, I know what you are thinking. It is true, I have even started seeing Him at His place more than once a week. I am sure you remember that I swore I would NEVER darken His doors again because the rest of His family were loons, hypocrites, and hateful.
He got to me though. He called me late at night, at work, in the early morning hours, when I was just sitting around doing whatever kind of thing my heart desired - He called to me. He said, "Remember, the scripture is DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart. Where is your delight?"
So I gave in. I searched, I found a church where the songs sound like angels voices, and I planted myself, found some awesome friends and yep, We are back together. We are an item. He loves me, I love Him. Who'd a thunk it? Surely not me!
I was the Amy Winehouse of churchdom, "I won't go to church, oh no no no no no!" My thought was that He and I could be just friends, you know. I tell Him my problems, He takes care of them, I say thank you & move on. No relationship, no commitment. He is a sweet talker, that Jesus, and He is so patient. He waited, He bided his time, He knew I would long to get back together with Him.
After Jeff died I told God that I just needed someone to take care of me, someone to take all these problems and deal with them. A strong man who could just give me a place to rest. I should have known as soon as I started asking that the Father would want to hook me back up with His Son. I mean, He has all those attributes and so many more, in fact, not only is He willing to lay down His life for me - He did! What a hero, and He was here all the time. Holding me up, lighting the way, tearing down strongholds, making a path.
So all I can ask now is - what do you need? Who are you looking for? Don't think you are hiding...
I can hook you up, just ask me.