I was having dinner with my in-laws and Jerry mentioned that Jeff had won $20k on a scratch off several years ago. Yep, but the government kept 1/4 of it I reminded him. Also we paid of his truck & who knows what else. Then I realized, he wasn't asking me to justify where the money went, nor did I need to tell him.
After I thought about how much money had slid through our fingers throughout our marriage, including our retirement funds, etc. And then I thought about my mother, who was so tight with money there was a time she would not give me a penny for a gum machine. My 1st husband (the evil one) took me to the bank from her funeral to withdraw her life savings. Because of him & his drug use, we lost the new home we bought & most of the furnishings. Not in a life time, but within two years.
So who got the best bang for their buck? Jeff, who did things he had never done in his life and probably would have never done had we not met. Jeff who drove new shiny Corvettes, smoked expensive cigars, had a closet full of Tommy Bahamas, and who had beau coup friends. Jeff who dropped dead at 57.
OR my mom, who lived to be 68 years old, who rarely wasted a penny in her life, who raised a daughter who resented her and her penny pinching ways. My mom, for whom a big night out was riding the gambling bus to Reno or Tahoe once in a while. My mom, who had her fur coat sleeve stuffed with bank books and cash but hadn't had fun in 40 years. Which one got the best bang for their buck?
I think it was Jeff. What good did all the retirement money do Jeff or my mom? His would have helped me out some but so what. I had a good time with him, we weren't rolling in dough, but we had fun with what we had. Was that so wrong? I am happy that we went to Alaska and we bought a new car every year (my dad's dream). I am happy that we went to Spain, even if he didn't have a good time. I am happy he started smoking cigars, because he made even more friends, esp. two best friends whom he enjoyed being with.
As for me, I still have time, assuming my health holds out, to have fun and more money. You know how money is, it flows in, it flows out, it flows in. Just waiting on the next tide...